INFO for Families

An Open Adoption Story...Powerfully Told

My oldest daughter stumbled across a short film that tells a touching and beautiful story of an open adoption. It drew us in from the first moment, not just because it was eighteen minutes of excellent film making, but because it reminded us of some of our experiences and the emotions we had in our own adoption story.

What is open adoption? About.com defines it as "an adoption that has some degree of contact between the birth/first family and the adoptive family. Contact can range from letters and phone calls to visits."

Simply put, open adoption is a full and legal adoption where the adoptive parents choose to stay connected to and in communication with the child's birth parents. It can take on many forms (and the level of "openness" and connectivity might be different for different adoptions) but it serves to involve the birth mother (and birth father, if appropriate) far more than a traditional adoption.

While it's not ideal in every situation, we think it's a great option for many, as it allows the adoptive family to not only love on a child, but also the birth mother and her extended family. That is what we have enjoyed most in our situation. We have loved teaching Maddie Kate to pray for her birth mother by name. We have enjoyed the opportunities we have had to re-connect with her about once or twice a year.

Perhaps just as important, from the perspective of a pregnant woman who is considering adoption, an open adoption may be a key element that enables her to feel comfortable with letting her baby go to another family. For many young woman, adoption is not a consideration because they can't fathom the possibility of saying goodbye to their baby after nine months of having him or her so close.

These are complicated issues that are far above the scope of this simple blog. Any family considering aoption should seek out wise counsel as they consider all their options for adoption.

All I know is that it is working incredibly well for us. And this video captures the joys and miracles of open adoption quite effectively. It is well worth your time.

 

Challenging Men to "Courageous" Living

I think I'm like most Christian men in that I feel the responsibility of being the "spiritual leader of my home."  The bad news is that I don't have a clear picture of what that means. I usually end up feeling inadequate in many ways. I know that this is what God has for me, but I often live with a deep sense of failure because I simply don't know how to do it.

The new movie "Courageous" opens this weekend. Produced by the same people who made Fireproof and Facing the Giants, this message movie hopes to inspire men to begin to take the first steps toward being the men God has called them to be.

 

Find where it might be showing in a theater near you by going to the official movie website.

Or you can check out some of the great resources that Focus on the Family has put together on their Courageous Website.

Make plans to see this movie with your spouse. Pray that it would stir in all of us the desire to lead and shepherd our families more effectively.

An Open Letter to the Summer Blockbuster

Dear Summer Blockbuster,

You break my heart, time and time again. I don't know if we're going to make it. I think this relationship is officially over. I'd like to say that it's not you...it's me.

But honestly, I think it's you.

Every year it's the same: I get hopeful for what you might bring to my life. I watch your previews for six months (or more), my anticipation growing stronger day by day.

Over Christmas, it's the "teaser trailer." It's always a refreshing opener to the artsy-fartsy Oscar-hopeful I'm watching. I think: "Awesome! They're going to make a movie about that!"

Through the Spring, the excitement builds. You give me a full preview of your beauty and richness. It's two minutes of awesomeness that I can watch over and over again online. I become giddy with excitement, drudging through my life, waiting for June to arrive.

Then finally, school is out, summer is upon us, and your opening weekend arrives. I struggle with how to pursue you: Do I stay up late on Thursday for the midnight showing? Do I go the cheap route and sneak in candy? Or do I invest in the relationship like I should and buy the jumbo popcorn and large drink combo? Yes...that's the right thing to do. After all, you're worth it.

And then it happens: you let me down. All the promises you have made for the past year go unfulfilled. Your over-the-top action sequences never compensate for the lack of substance. Your big name stars are worthless as they act out the mindless drivel that is serving as a script. Let's be honest, you don't have a compelling story to tell; just an idea sold in a Hollywood pitch meeting.

Two hours later I leave feeling empty...and dirty...and broke. Have you run the numbers on what it costs to take a family of seven to the movies lately? It's not cheap.

I'm not asking for much here. I just feel that if your two-minute preview is like our courtship then your two-hour movie should be like our marriage. I can tell you, the courtship rocked. I was soooo in love with you then. But the marriage: not so much.

So I think it's over between us. But I still want to be friends.

Perhaps I'll see you in the Redbox machine at Walmart in a few months. We'll get together at my house where my entire investment in the relationship will be a buck for the rental and a buck for the microwave popcorn. But that's all I can give. You've burned me too many times. And I will not be burned again.

Unless, of course, they make an "A-Team" movie. What? They did? And it's coming out this summer? Oh, baby, you had me at hello.

Yours Forever,

Barrett

Top 10 Lists for Media This Week

The folks over at the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding occasionally release their top ten lists of all things media. As a parent, it's always interesting for me to see what is popular in movies, music, music videos, etc. In many cases, I don't have a clue who have the artists are. But it can make for interesting discussions with the kids.

Anyway, here's their most recent release.

CPYU Top Tens as of May 16, 2010

What Do You Recommend at Blockbuster?

I love a good movie. Whether it's a kid flick on a family movie night or a romantic comedy that Jen and I can enjoy after the kids go to bed, I'm always willing to pop some corn and spend 100 minutes engaging in a good story. But the sad thing is that I haven't seen too many of those lately.

The last few "family" movies we have chosen have been just stupid. And the recent "for parents only" flicks Jen and I have tried have been void of anything that would resemble redeeming value. I'm starting to wonder if Hollywood has any clue what many Americans are looking for in entertainment.

Let me be clear on something: I'm not a legalistic prude when it comes to film and story. I am willing to endure some distasteful content if it serves a higher purpose. Plus, I have my trusty Clearplay DVD Player if I want to appreciate a movie without being bombarded by profanity or skin. But I just haven't seen much recently that I can truly say: "Now that was two hours well spent!"

So I need your help...

Please use the comments section below to suggest "good movies for families" and good movies for parents." Let me know what you have seen in recent days that your family really enjoyed...and why. I'll sort through your responses and post ones that I agree with.  ;-)  Feel free to include both recent releases and timeless classics.

I'll offer the first comment and give a few of my favorites. Thanks for your help!