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Jenifer's Perspective: When Summer Days Turn Bad

It happens every year. I plan the perfect summer day for my family and (as Murphy’s Law promises) nothing goes right.  I’m not sure when it will happen this summer, but I’m going to be on the lookout for it. 

 

It usually happens during a family vacation or when we have relatives in from out of town.  I’ll plan the perfect “Southern Living” backyard party or I’ll orchestrate the most amazing day trip for our company and it’s inevitable: all my best-laid plans will come unglued.  It typically starts going downhill just as the day begins: the kids will start whining, Barrett will sleep late, or the dog will make a huge mess that distracts me from the mission of the day.  Every component from there on out is a disappointment.     

 

But here’s the big question I’m learning to ask myself: What actually ruins the day?  The things that go wrong or my response to them?   More times than not, it’s my response.

 

Bryant mentioned a great verse in his sermon a few weeks ago.  Proverbs 14:1 says “the wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”  This verse gives me two options.  I can use my attitude and emotion to either build up or tear down.  In every opportunity with my family, I’m doing one or the other.  There’s no neutral ground. 

 

Perhaps nothing reveals that we are building or tearing down like the nature of our words.  With kids home during the summer, our routines are completely out of whack.  That often means that whining and complaining are at an all time high.  How will you respond?  Will your words make it worse or will they build up your home? 

Paul instructs us in Ephesians 4:29 to “not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  When that perfect day is turning south, will we “give a gentle answer that turns away wrath” (Prov. 15:1) and overlook an offense or will we turn every molehill into a mountain? 

As we get into summer, let us cling to Christ’s promise in John 14:26.  He tells us that the Holy Spirit “will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” When that ugly day comes and I’m tempted to respond with a crummy attitude and destructive words, I’ll be listening closely for the voice of my Father. 

 

I’m sure He will lovingly tell me to make the most of every moment for Him, in spite of the imperfections that come my way.  And I can think of no better way to spend a summer day!

 

Figuring this out just like the rest of us,

 

Jenifer

Jenifer Johnson is the other, better half of Barrett Johnson, Minister to Young Marrieds and Families.

Jenifer's Perspective: Biblical Womanhood

To start with, I don’t claim to have all the realities of Biblical womanhood figured out.   I do know that God keeps calling me to continue to set the bar high for what He would have us to do and be as we walk with Him, encourage our husbands, and raise our children to follow Christ.  And I’m honored to get to speak into your life in this setting.

 

One simple challenge that I often give to women is to never stop learning.  God has so much to show us, if only we’ll offer Him a teachable spirit.  Without it, we’ll unknowingly allow ungodly tendencies and habits to sneak into all of our relationships.  Some of the best ways to position yourself to keep growing include…

 

*Staying in the Word.  We cannot delete this vital necessity from our lives.  It is the single most powerful means to a transformed life. (Romans 12:2)  Utilize a Bible study resource or simply read through the One Year Bible.   Whatever you do, GET INTO THE WORD!

 

*Finding a Mentor.  Throughout the scriptures, we see the value of having someone come alongside us to challenge and encourage us in our faith.  On a personal note, I can’t say enough about the value of those women whom God has used to sharpen me!  If you don’t have someone like that in your life, begin to pray that God would lead you to someone.   In the meantime, be creative!  One of my favorite mentors is Nancy Leigh DeMoss who I listen to online at her website (www.reviveourhearts.com).  She has no idea who I am, but I have grown under her teaching nonetheless!

 

*Reading a Good Book.  Great authors can offer amazing and practical insights into every aspect of your life.  Make sure that they are Biblically-based and encourage a Christian worldview, or else it’s just self-help.  If you want a good book to start with, every woman should read Shaunti Feldhahn’s “For Women Only.”  Likewise, your husband should ready “For Men Only.”  (There’s also a brand-new “For Young Women Only” that offers great insights into the mind of the young men of today.)  These are sound, well-researched books that have the potential to revolutionize how you love your spouse.

Jenifer's Perspective: The Power of a Wife's Respect

One of the greatest joys of my life is to watch God do miracles in the lives of women who choose to obey Him and trust His ways, even when their emotions or circumstances would push them in a different direction.

 

A great example is Cathy (not her real name), a new friend of mine who is three years into a marriage that has become cold, distant, and terribly unsatisfying.  She expressed to me her desire to do things God’s way so I pointed her toward scriptures like I Peter 3:1-4, where God instructs women to “be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”

 

So Cathy started asking God to show her ways to win her husband back without words.  And God gave her ideas.  For example, she finally got around to unpacking their new apartment, something she knew her husband desired.  It amazed her how blessed he was and how his heart turned toward her a bit.

I had told her about how husbands enjoy “shoulder-to-shoulder time” with their wives; time spent together while not necessarily saying anything.  So, she started sitting with him while he plays video games, even though she has no interest in such things.  And he began to warm up even further.

Every day she is praying that God would give her more and more ways that she can proactively change the climate of her marriage.

 

Cathy is my hero…she obeyed God, saw changes in her circumstances, and is praising Him for His activity in her life and home.  Her story is encouraging, but it doesn’t mean that everything is perfect; she and her husband still have many challenges.  But she has the confidence that God is walking through this with her.

I pray that I can always remember that God is into the littlest details and that He desires to lead us to do specific but simple things to impact our most treasured relationships.  He’ll do it if we’ll just get ourselves out of the way and listen to Him!

 

Blessings,

Jen

 

Jenifer Johnson is the other, better half of Barrett Johnson, Minister to Young Marrieds and Families.